A guilty little music pleasure of mine is John Mayer’s album, Room For Squares. I particularly love the lyrics on Track 8, a song titled 3 x 5.
In this song, he writes a letter to a friend/girlfriend in which he gives up trying to share his experiences with photographs, and instead now decides to experience the world “with both his eyes”. The only way the recipient of the letter is going to see the things that John is writing about is to come along in person.
Didn’t have a camera by my side this time
Hoping I would see the world with both my eyes
Today I finally overcame
Tryin’ to fit the world inside a picture frame
I myself have never really been a huge fan of taking photographs, I don’t own a camera and there are whole stages of my life that I have no photos at all. I guess I am somewhat like the character in the song in that respect, photos for me can never capture what the moment looked or felt like. I’d much rather just enjoy the present. I’ve never really been too sentimental however, so perhaps that will change and I’ll regret not taking more photos later in life.
I found when I did a lot of television camerawork that something does change when you’re shooting. You feel separated from what is happening in front of the camera and this detachment allows you to do whatever you need to get the right shots. I believe this is a big part of how news camera operators are able to shoot potentially dangerous and tragic situations day after day.
In a similar vein, I think our modern communications leave us detached. It’s so much easier to be confident, funny, intelligent… fill in the blank here… from within Facebook or email, but is it real? Txt, email and Facebook lack tone. A phone call lacks body language. They’re all a lot easier than face to face communication, but lack the authenticity. In my opinion it’s Pseudo-communication creating pseudo-relationships.
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately and noticing how even some of my “good” friendships lack real depth. Now to be honest, partly that is due to a lack of effort on my part, and partly due to my natural introvert tendencies; but also due to not valuing in-person time over a text or an email.
So for the last couple of weeks, I have been challenging myself to drop communicating through things such as Facebook or texting and be more intentional in communicating and meeting with people in person. It does cost, it means sacrificing time & convenience; it requires ongoing effort; and it also means being more vulnerable.
My challenges:
- Talk face-to-face when possible, especially for situations in which I rather hide behind an email. (Feel the fear and do it anyway!)
- Meet a friend for coffee, talk more than an hour. (Otherwise known as annoy the staff at Coffee Culture)
- If I have to use the phone, call rather than text.
- Facebook is a marketing tool, use it as such, and leave the communication for the real world.
I don’t always manage to follow through on all these points all the time, but I’ve already found just in the last couple of weeks through being intentional in how I communicate, a renewed satisfaction in my relationships.
A long way to go!