One of my favourite books in the bible is Ecclesiastes. A lot of people find it a slightly depressing book (similar to Job or the “woe is I” portions of the Psalms), but I love it. I think mostly because what it talks about rings so true with what I’ve experienced of life this far.
The main thrust of Ecclesiastes is summed up in Chapter 1, verse 2.
“Meaningless! Meaningless!” says the Teacher. “Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless.”
It then goes on to list specifics, Hard work is meaningless, wealth is meaningless, wisdom is meaningless, youth is meaningless, pleasures are meaningless… People live, people die, nothing changes…
Now I can see how this could be construed as a little depressing, but I personally find it liberating. Not in a “nothing matters, so I’ll do whatever I like and care about nothing” way, but in the fact that none of the stuff that the world thinks is important actually really matters all that much in the grand scheme of things. Our existence here is very temporary, so unless it somehow carries over into the “next life” (more on that later), then why bother?
My testimony is almost a carbon copy of the Parable of the Prodigal Son, although raised in a Christian home, in my late teens I moved to a “university-town” and immediately immersed myself in the drinking and party culture. It’s not that I didn’t believe in God, I did, but I somehow came up with the concept that I could somehow live the way I wanted and simultaneously be a good enough person to keep God happy. Or at least keep me out of hell. I tried not to think about it too much anyway, it made me uncomfortable.
It seems really funny to me now that looking back I justified to myself that certain things ok, while other things were no-go. I sort of developed my own moral code, but even then I had to keep changing that around to fit in with my lifestyle!
“It’s ok to have drinks, but I’ll stay away from the drugs” turns into “Ok, so it’s not too bad to have a couple of spots every now and again, but I won’t do it every day.”
“Ok, I can live with my girlfriend, but I won’t actually sleep with her.” turns into “Oh well I’m going to marry her anyway, so it’s ok.”
At 20, I came into an inheritance left for me by my granddad, not a great age to be responsible with a lot of money! So just like the prodigal son, I blew it on whatever I thought would make me happy. CD’s, clothes, furniture, video arcade machines … the bicycle I rode once and enough drink that it’s surprising my brain still functions.
And this is really how I started thinking about God, at that point of my life I should have been happier than ever. Cool job, attractive girlfriend, enough money that I could pretty much buy anything that caught my eye and yet I was incredibly empty. It was all meaningless.
It was soon after that point, that I hit rock bottom. I was made redundant, the money ran out, the long-suffering girlfriend left and in the cold reality of that situation I was finally able to take a honest look at myself and realise I didn’t like what I’d become.
I thank God often for that time. It was perhaps the toughest time of my life thus far, but it forced me while still at a relatively young age to weigh up my life. At that point I decided, that if I was to continue living, I needed more, I needed a purpose outside of myself & I needed to get right with God.
Be happy, young man, while you are young,
and let your heart give you joy in the days of your youth.
Follow the ways of your heart
and whatever your eyes see,
but know that for all these things
God will bring you to judgment.Ecclesiastes 11:9